Self Development

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Imposter Syndrome 101 – How to Beat it for Good.

Missbonitalynn.com may earn a commission, at no additional cost to you, with any purchase made using links on this page. Read the full disclosure here.  Imposter syndrome is an extremely common psychological pattern that affects even the most influential people in our lives. So what is Imposter syndrome? and how does it manifest? According to Dictionary.com, imposter …

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Setting Goals 101 – How to Win at Life

When working toward general or financial independence, a great starting point is to set a goal.  How is this achieved successfully? There are actually essential steps that need to be taken towards creating goals that are attainable, reasonable, and lofty. So where do you begin when setting goals? This post contains affiliate links. Please see our full disclosure for …

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6 Signs that you are That Negative Person in Everyone’s Life

Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest Tumblr 6 Signs that you are That Negative Person in Everyone’s Life 2019 is the year of self. We are going to prioritize self care, take care of our bodies, minds, and improve our self image. (Pin for later…) One resolution that I hear a ton is the exclusion of negativity …

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5 Signs of a Toxic Workplace That I Regret Ignoring

Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr Pinterest This post may contain affiliate links. For more detail on how the links support this website, please read our full disclosure. First Name Email address: Working your typical 9-5 is often difficult, or at the very least not very fun.  Let’s put things into perspective. You spend so much time …

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How the Rich get Richer (And How You Can Too).

Get Richer With These 5 Easy Steps Facebook Twitter Tumblr Instagram Pinterest We hear people giving similar advice everywhere in the personal finance world. “Save your money”, “Create an emergency fund”, “keep some money in the bank.” The real question is how? And that my friends, is what I plan to go through with you …

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In a Rut? Reboot Your Motivation in 5 Easy Steps

Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr Pinterest You know how the saying goes: “don’t compare yourself to others, everyone’s journey is different.” That’s all nice and good, but let’s be realistic, that is easier said than done.  These 5 tips will help you to reboot your motivation, and quell stress when you are just feeling down about …

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5 People That may be Impeding your Success.

I’ve learned that an important lesson in life is to work hard to protect your inner peace at all times.

Besides any turmoil that could occur within one’s family, or self struggle that comes with maturity, there are ways that you can limit external drama from infiltrating your life.

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The easiest way to protect your happiness and succeed in life is to be very selective of the people with whom you give your time.

It is said that you are the average of the five closest people to you. Let’s work on improving your average, by going through a list of 5 people to avoid to protect your inner peace.

1. Negative people

I cannot stress the importance of upholding a positive outlook as much as possible. Not only does it make your daily life more enjoyable, but spending time with a negative person can take a toll on your mental health.

I wrote a separate post on noticing the signs of a negative person (to come). prolonged time with a person who exhibits a negative outlook on life will eventually start to cloud your judgement. It can change your outlook on things that once seemed possible, and beneficial from your perspective.

As natural empaths, the problems and beliefs of others can actually rub off on us, as we want to be understanding of others.

  1. Takers

Do you have that specific acquaintance that seems to reach out whenever they need or want a favor from you? When you need them, do they ever show up? These people are called takers, and to me, are the worst type of people to associate with.

They expect things to be done for them upon their request, because they do not have many people in their lives who tell them no. the lack of reciprocation in this kind of relationship often leaves us feeling drained, used, and even a little sad.

That is because the energy that we work so hard to replenish and ration everyday has been used as a source of momentary fulfillment on the part of the taker.

Avoid them at all costs! It is easy to notice when someone is a taker because after you withdraw from this person, they simply move on to the next victim, and won’t bother to reach out to you.

  1. Immature people.


Immature does not always mean younger. They come in all ages, from different walks of life.
Some examples of immature people are:

        • People who enjoy arguing
      • People who lack a “code switch” when necessary
    • People who lie and gossip

Code Switch: The modifying of one’s behavior, appearance, etc., to adapt to different sociocultural norms. (Dictionary.com)

You need people in your life who will hold you accountable for your actions and choices. People who lack maturity cannot provide this for you, and thus, you will most likely spend your precious time with them on trivial matters.

While this is not ALWAYS a negative thing (we all have friends in different life stages), maturity can prove to be a roadblock, and create a fork in the road of your relationship when it comes time to start taking steps towards a serious life goal.

     4.

       Naysayers

These people can be some of the worst that you could ever provide your time to. While some of them may mean well and worry for your future(ex: your parents), most times, naysayers do not want to see the people around them elevate.

This could stem from fear, or jealousy, both of which are highly contagious!  Some examples of key phrases that naysayers use:

    • That’s really risky, are you sure about that?
    • You know insert goal here is not safe
    • That idea has such a small chance of profitability, why bother?
  • I know a guy who tried ____insert goal ___here and he failed miserably

Phrases like the ones above are used to plant seeds of doubt into your mind, and can even be subconscious as opposed to malicious. No matter the reasoning behind a naysayers attitude, it can make you stagnant in your goals.

5.

Unkind people

This can play a lot into maturity. Hanging around these type of people is the quickest way to manifest negativity in your life. Most people with a functioning conscious have a threshold of negative energy that they can expel before it has an effect on them.

It is the same for being witness to someone who is just nasty to those around you. It just simply is not necessary, cool, cute (you name it) to be mean, or tolerate that type of energy. How does it serve you?

     Conclusion

What are your thoughts?

There are many people that should be avoided when protecting your inner peace, but these five are the ones who could seem normal and harmless in your everyday life, and then before you know it, you’re picking up bad habits from them.

Let me know of some people that you had to steer clear from to be a happier person. Thanks for reading!

– Bo

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Four Damaging Behaviors to Avoid for Inner Peace

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Four Behaviors to Avoid for Inner Peace

Having been diagnosed with anxiety at age 21 was the wake up call that I needed to get my act together, and take control of my mental health. 

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A Lot of time was wasted mulling over this new diagnosis, and I have finally come up with 4 behaviors that contribute to my anxiety. These behaviors should be avoided at all times (or as much as possible) to nurture your inner peace, and live the happiest of lives.

1.

Not minding your own business.

 

This world populates well over 7 billion souls with differing opinions. This guarantees that you may run into a few who you just can’t get down with. 

Maybe they are interested in a music genre that you do not like, or they have different political beliefs. The easiest way to avoid an angst ridden argument at every corner is to MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Simple right?

It’s as easy as realizing that there are many people who have the liberty to believe what they want, and then acknowledging that this is perfectly okay. 

Not only does that take away the pressure and need to prove your point, but it opens you up to learn from different perspectives. Who doesn’t love personal growth?

  1. Seeking validation. 

 
 

This does nothing but cause pain. I remember spending a greater amount of my young adulthood desperately trying to get on everyone’s good side. This was despite the fact that I didn’t necessarily like every one with whom I’d encountered. This left me with an extremely painful and empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Validation from everyone around you is a few things:

  • Exhausting to achieve
  • Most times superficial
  • Impossible to keep up

It really is not worth your time to convince people to value your person, because the right people will be attracted to your true being. These are the people that you should cultivate relationships with.

When you begin to practice this, you will eventually witness the number of friendships dwindle over the years, but your quality of life will skyrocket. Quality is definitely better than quantity in terms of relationships.

  1. Surrounding yourself with people that you do not like.

 

We’ve all done this. I like to call it the trap of convenience. 

The convenience of spending a majority of the day surrounded by the same people can open up doors to settling into interactions that may not be the best for your mental health. 

It’s a slippery slope to associate yourself with people who aren’t for you just because there might be something to gain from these relationships, and eventually the truth will manifest.

Genuine people will not like or dislike you solely on your convenient relationships. They will assess you at your core, and then determine your value.

  1. Lacking compassion.

 

Nothing teaches you more about the necessity of compassion than needing it yourself.

We live in a world where oppression and unfortunate events are showcased on social and mass media. It creates a false sense of “them,” and promotes the ideas of Murphy not knocking on your own door.

              But what happens when unfortunate events happen to you?

Living without compassion will always come around to the source. You really don’t need to believe in karma to realize that everything comes full circle, and this world does not function well without compassion. 

The lack of kindness from family or colleagues can really take a toll on one’s outlook on life. The best way to manifest compassion is to show it by paying it forward to those around you.

      Conclusion

These are the four behaviors that pull downward on your mental health. 

I like to remind myself of these four practices whenever I am feeling low, and it’s a great way to spot check your vibrations.

What are some behaviors that you like to avoid to protect your inner peace? Be sure to leave some ideas below, and I’ll see you in the next blog post!